Monday, December 1, 2014

Suburban Haiku: Poetic Dispatches from Across the Picket Fence (aka Hilarious Poems about Your Neighbors)

Not to make you nervous, but there are only 25 days until Christmas. Only 16 days until Hanukkah. And less than a week until I buy the annual tube of wrapping paper that I won't use because I'll probably get gift cards at CVS on December 24th (again). My family did enjoy a lovely outing on Small Business Saturday, but somehow we only purchased fancy cups of coffee and a hand-painted ornament for a tree we have yet to buy and subsequently ruin through dehydration.

But hark! It's Cyber Monday folks, which is just like Black Friday or Small Business Saturday, except that it happens in cyberspace. And you never have to fight for parking in cyberspace. You never have to feel about about racing that grandma on a mobility scooter to the table of $20 sweaters.

Last Wednesday, I shared my review of The Big Book of Parenting Tweets. On Friday, I published my first ever small business holiday gift guide. Today, to top off my extravaganza of presents on Welcome to the Bundle, and to herald in the joyful occasion of Cyber Monday, I present to you Suburban Haiku: Poetic Dispatches from Across the Picket Fence. As with all of my reviews and recommendations, I was not compensated: physically, monetarily, or emotionally.

Were you aware that I have a Master of Fine Arts in poetry? No, no, please, hold your applause. I only mention it because (a) I'm vain and (b) I love Suburban Haiku. Peyton Price is a hilarious suburban mom cranking out social commentary in 17 subversive little syllables. Peyton has a fabulous website and can be found lurking on Facebook, but now you can cackle your way through an entire book of her haiku. (Rhyming: Nailed it!)

Composition with Suburban Haiku, baby monitor, laptop, grocery list,
the last of the Halloween candy, cold coffee, high chair tray,
rubber bib, macaroni noodles, and wine. 

Suburban Haiku: Poetic Dispatches from Behind the Picket Fence is available for just $12.95 (on IndieboundPowell'sAmazon, and Barnes and Noble). Today only, many of those sites are offering special rates on shipping and deep discounts (30% off at Amazon!). Think of all the parties you'll be attending this holiday season, then think about all the crappy wine you'll be buying for the hosts. Skip the Franzia (and the accompanying shame that should come with buying Franzia) and, instead, wrap up a copy of Suburban Haiku. Give the gift of laughter. Share the joy of poetry. Enjoy a rant about those a-holes in the carpool. 'Tis the season for 17 syllables of suburban self-deprecation.

I've been quoting from this book for a few weeks now. Got teenagers? There's a haiku for that. Need a mani/pedi? There's a haiku for that. Feeling bad about your lawn? There's a haiku for that too. I genuinely love this book. Here are just a few of the many reasons why:

They have nice cheese there
but we can't go to Whole Foods.
We're out of t.p.


Bolting from the bus
he runs to mom, arms open.
"Where's the iPad?"


Five houses over
it's time for trumpet practice.
That kid really blows.


Two cups of coffee
wake me up enough to ask
"Did I have coffee?"

Image courtesy of Suburban Haiku

Peyton Price is a regular contributor to NickMom and to Huffington Post. She was recently featured on Redbook and on BonBon Break. Basically, she's a big freakin' deal, so snapping up this book now is like an investment in being able to say, "Oh, you like Suburban Haiku? I own a first edition." And nothing says holiday cheer like out-cooling the cool mom in play group. Or should I say, "formerly cool mom in play group"?

Support a fellow mama and very funny lady by picking up a copy of this book. I promise you, cross my heart, you will nod you head in solidarity, you will sometimes wince from the sting of recognition, but you will also laugh. A lot. You can't make the checkout line at Target any shorter. You can't make family gatherings less awkward. But you can offer someone the chance to hide in the powder room for 10 minutes while reading this book and regaining his/her sense of humor. Or sanity. 'Tis the season of giving, folks! Give wisely. Give a laugh.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like a funny book and those examples hit the mark, especially, the iPad one. My kids are like that.