The Big Book of Parenting Tweets: Making You Tinkle with Laughter in 140 Characters or Less

I know, I know. I'm your go-to gal for personal essays about motherhood, identity, guilt, and runaway baby poop. But I'm changing things up this week. The holiday season is upon us, kinda like how oatmeal is upon us when a toddler sneezes after taking a big bite of his breakfast. Bam! Candles and bedazzled pine cones are all up in our grills like half-chewed Quaker Oats.

This Friday, Black Friday to be exact, I'll be rolling out my first ever gift guide, highlighting small businesses and independent artists. For many years, I toiled away in the hellish splendor of a shopping mall. It took decades for my holiday spirit to recover. I want to help you, dear readers, avoid a similar fate, to feel more "deck the halls" than "#$@&%*! the halls" this season.

So, when I heard that some of my favorite bloggers had teamed up to edit and illustrate The Big Book of Parenting Tweets, I knew I had to add the book to my list of holiday must-haves.* Kate Hall (of Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine) and Jessica Ziegler and Norine Dworkin-McDaniel (of Science of Parenthood) have combed the Twitterverse in search of the most pee-pee inducing parenting tweets.

Do you drink hot coffee through a straw? Febreeze your clothes in lieu of a shower? No time for leisurely activities like eating? Then The Big Book of Parenting Tweets is the book for you. I promise you will laugh in less time than it takes for your kid to jam a bean in her ear or to drown your new iPhone in the potty.

You deserve a laugh (at your children's expense).
Get your copy on Amazon.

You don't have to be a Twitter user to appreciate how much hilarity can be packed into 140 characters or less. I've gathered a few of my favorite tweets below just to prove my point: 

• I just sucked melted chocolate off my 2yo’s filthy fingers, in case you’re from the future and wondering how the outbreak started. —Dad and Buried (@DadAndBuried) 

• This margarita tastes like I don't even have kids. — Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall). 

• Yesterday I cleaned my house, which is dumb because we still live here. —Amy Flory (@FunnyIsFamily). 

• Kids are like sponges. They smell bad. —Bunmi Laditan (@BunmiLaditan) 

I spent a good half-hour reading quotes from this book to my husband as he prepped dinner. He nearly burned himself while laughing. My point being that a few good tweets can really improve your mood, especially when they result in schadenfreude. (No husbands or pots of homemade chili were harmed in the reading of this book.)

Need a host or hostess gift? This book is a fantastic option. Note that moms and dads are equally represented in this collection, so grab a copy for your husband for Christmas or for your sister for Hanukah or for yourself because YOU DON'T NEED A HOLIDAY TO TREAT YOURSELF TO A DAMN LAUGH EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. Ahem. Snap up a copy on Amazon today and you'll be supporting small business owners, fellow parents, and good humor this season.

*I was not paid to endorse this book. I was not offered swag in exchange for this review. Kate, Norine, and Jessica didn't even ask if I'd like some cookies or something. Jessica did say that she'd let me hug her if we ever met in a mall and I wasn't wearing any socks, but it's possible that was a dream and not a real conversation. Bottom line: I don't write sponsored posts or feature ads on my site. This book is genuinely funny. I think you would like it.